As a Texas family lawyer with almost 16+ years of practice in family law as of this post, I've spent countless hours in courtrooms across this state, advocating for clients during some of the most challenging periods of their lives. I've witnessed firsthand the profound impact of judicial decisions, not just on legal outcomes, but on the emotional well-being and future trajectories of families. And in all my years of practice, one truth has become abundantly clear: judicial temperament is not a luxury; it is the bedrock upon which trust in our family courts is built.

To my esteemed colleagues on the bench, this isn't merely an academic discussion about legal theory. This is a plea, and a reminder from the trenches of family law about the immense power you wield, and the responsibility that comes with it.

The Crucible of Family Law: Where Temperament is Tested

Family law is unique. It is not lost on me that most of your decisions are unlikely to be reviewable or overturned on appeal - in many instances in rulings you make in a family law matter.  I suspect, and based on numerous discussions, the family law bar knows that.  The "abuse of discretion" standard on appellate review is well known among all of us.  There is a certain finality in day to day proceedings that is required in family law matters.  But the Court's 'finality' in day to day proceedings is is also the Court's 'achilles heel' so to speak.  Unlike commercial disputes or criminal matters, our cases are deeply personal, often involving raw emotions, shattered relationships, and the welfare of children. We are dealing with:

• Parents in distress: Often exhausted, financially strained, and emotionally vulnerable.
• Children whose futures hang in the balance: Their sense of security and stability directly tied to the decisions made in your courtroom.
• Victims of domestic violence: Who require a safe and understanding environment to share their stories.
• Individuals navigating complex emotional landscapes: Grief, anger, fear, and betrayal are common companions in our courtrooms.

In this emotionally charged atmosphere, a judge's demeanor is not just about courtroom decorum; it is a critical factor in how justice is perceived and received.

Why Your Temperament Matters More Than You Think (Especially to Us)

From my vantage point as a practicing lawyer, here's why your judicial temperament is paramount:

• You Set the Tone: A calm, patient, and respectful judge immediately de-escalates tension in the courtroom. Conversely, a judge who is abrupt, dismissive, or openly frustrated can ignite an already volatile situation, making effective advocacy and peaceful resolution incredibly difficult. We lawyers are trying to manage our clients' anxieties; your temperament can either aid or undermine that effort.
• It Validates the Litigant's Experience: For many pro se litigants, and even for represented parties, this is their first and only experience with the justice system. When a judge listens intently, allows parties to speak without constant interruption (within reason, of course), and maintains a respectful tone, it conveys that their story matters, that their pain is acknowledged. This validation is crucial, regardless of the ultimate ruling. Without it, the perception is that the system is unfair, uncaring, and inaccessible.
• It Fosters Confidence in the Process, Not Just the Outcome: We, as lawyers, are often tasked with explaining unfavorable rulings to our clients. When a judge has exhibited fairness, patience, and thoughtful consideration throughout the proceedings, it makes that difficult conversation easier. Our clients, even if disappointed with the result, are more likely to trust that the process was just. "The judge really listened," or "I felt heard," are comments that build trust, even in defeat.
• It Impacts Our Ability to Practice Effectively: When judges are unpredictable, short-tempered, or prone to expressing personal opinions from the bench, it chills advocacy. Lawyers may hesitate to fully present their case or make necessary objections for fear of incurring the court's ire. This compromises our ethical duty to zealously represent our clients and ultimately, undermines the adversarial system designed to uncover truth.
• It Protects the Dignity of the Court: Each time a judge loses their temper, makes a sarcastic remark, or displays open contempt for a party or attorney, it chips away at the public's respect for the institution of the judiciary. This is particularly damaging in family courts, where the public often views the proceedings as intrusive and emotionally taxing. We need the judiciary to be seen as a pillar of fairness and integrity, not a source of further trauma.

A Call for Intentionality

To our judges: I understand the immense pressure you face. The dockets are crowded, the cases are complex, and the human drama can be draining. But it is precisely because of these challenges that your commitment to judicial temperament becomes even more vital.

I urge you to be intentional about:

• Active Listening: Hear not just the words, but the underlying concerns.
• Controlling Your Own Emotions: Your courtroom is not the place for personal frustration or impatience to be displayed.
• Maintaining Impartiality, Even When Challenged: It's easy to be patient with cooperative parties; true temperament shines when faced with difficult ones.
• Communicating Respectfully: Even when issuing a strong admonishment, the delivery can maintain the dignity of the court and the respect for the individual.
• Remembering the Human Element: Every file represents a family, a child, an individual whose life is profoundly affected by your presence and your decisions.

Judicial temperament isn't just about good manners; it's about the very essence of justice. It's about ensuring that every litigant, every parent, every child who walks into a Texas family courtroom leaves with the profound belief that they were treated with dignity, heard with respect, and judged fairly. This, above all else, is how we ensure enduring trust in our judicial decisions.