Custody exchanges can be stressful for everyone involved, especially when children have to pack and lug their belongings back and forth between homes. I've seen how these transitions can become a major source of conflict between co-parents. One simple solution to ease this burden is the "two-home essentials" approach.

What are "Two-Home Essentials"?

The concept is simple: instead of packing a suitcase every time your child switches homes, maintain duplicate essential items at both residences. This means your child has everything they need at each home, minimizing the stress of packing and reducing the likelihood of forgotten items.  Generally, the fewer items that have to be transported between households the better.  It reduces conflict between the parents for items left at the other home and anxiety for the child. 

Regardless, if your child is old enough to give input, I would also highly encourage you to get their input on the discretionary items.  As with anything, this is a general outline.  Often times, and many of the orders I draft, spell out somethings that are required to be at exchanges.  Check your orders.  

What Items Should Be Duplicated?

• Clothing: Keep a complete wardrobe at each home, including everyday clothes, pajamas, outerwear, and shoes. This ensures your child is always dressed appropriately for the weather and activities at each location.

• Toiletries: Stock up on duplicates of toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, soap, and any other personal care items your child uses regularly.

• Comfort Items: Don't forget to duplicate your child's favorite stuffed animals, blankets, or other comforting objects that help them feel secure and at ease in both homes.

• School Supplies: If your child is school-aged, maintain a set of school supplies, including backpacks, notebooks, pencils, and any other necessary materials, at each home.

• Medication: If your child takes any prescription or over-the-counter medication, ensure a sufficient supply is available at both homes, along with any necessary dosage instructions or medical information.  Additionally, review your Court orders which may speak to this issue as well and what you are required to do.  

Benefits of the "Two-Home Essentials" Approach:

• Reduced Stress: Less packing means less hassle and a smoother transition for everyone involved.

• Fewer Forgotten Items: With duplicates of essential items at both homes, the chances of forgetting something important are significantly reduced.

• Increased Comfort and Familiarity: Having familiar belongings at both homes helps children feel more comfortable and secure in each environment.

• Reduced Conflict: Fewer disagreements about packing and forgotten items can lead to a more peaceful co-parenting relationship.

Additional Tips:

• Coordinate with Your Co-Parent: Discuss the "two-home essentials" approach with your co-parent to ensure you're both on the same page and can coordinate purchases.

• Update Regularly: As your child grows and their needs change, be sure to update the items at both homes accordingly.

• Consider a Shared Storage Solution: If space is limited, consider using a shared storage bin or closet to store duplicate items when they're not in use.

By implementing the "two-home essentials" approach, you can significantly reduce the stress and conflict associated with custody exchanges, making the transitions easier and more enjoyable for both you and your child.